I practice Marriage Family Therapy, specializing in couples work along with sex therapy. You will find many couples therapist out there to choose from; however, only a handful will have additional training in sex therapy. Why is that important? Couple relationships are inherently made up of a sexual element that is usually affected by whatever issues are arising in the relationship if they are not indeed sexual issues themselves. Almost all couples I work with have been impacted sexually despite their reason for coming to therapy. So, as a sex therapist I am not only more comfortable talking about a wide range of sexual topics; but, I am trained to work on these issues. My training allows for a greater ability to determine effective solutions to your problems.
One of the main issues I work with is the mismatch of sexual desire between the couple and a lack of intimate connection. Almost every couple will go through periods where one wants sex more than his or her partner does. After a prolonged period of time, if that difference is high, resentment sets in and avoidance of sex altogether is likely. There are several reasons for people to want or not want sex. Anxiety over sexual performance is one reason that I see frequently in my practice. In our culture orgasm is the pinnacle of sexual experiences and when that does not happen, or happen as quickly as we think it should or too quickly, people start thinking maybe my partner is not attracted to me or I’m a failure at sex. Sexual experiences are avoided when we attach negative meanings to them. In this article I was interviewed for in Bustle Magazine, I comment and advise on a different way of viewing sexual experiences and orgasm. Working on changing our perspective of how sex should be is one way to alleviate desire discrepancy and build an intimate connection.
In my practice I often help clients overcome the effects of sexual trauma, infidelity, or problematic sexual behavior. While others may wish to negotiate an open relationship, consider divorce, or navigate a gender change. No matter what the issue is for coming into therapy, my approach to therapy centers on relationships. I believe that when we have successful and fulfilling relationships it allows for optimal performance and enjoyment in personal and professional pursuits. I am driven to help my clients reconnect and build intimate relationships within their lives and use the therapist/client relationship to help achieve this goal.